My Heart is Hurting...

My heart is sad, Even though I know that Gramma Grape went to Heaven I am sad because I won't be able to talk to her for a long time, I wish I would have taken the opportunity's I had to talk with her more and I wish I knew for certain that she knew I loved her so very much.

As I look back, I have such great memories of the time I spent with Gramma, She was such a character. She was in my life longer than she wasn't.

I lost my Granny when I was 9 years old this was the most signifigant loss in my little life but I remember how I felt, after the funeral, everyone had gathered at the house and I remember not wanting to be around anyone so I crawled in to the back of my grannies closet and layed underneath her clothes and somehow I felt closer to her there, I was so taken with greif that I found her purse and wrote her a letter, and cryed my little heart out, explaining to her how much I missed her and how much I loved her. I put it in her wallet and I held on to it, That's how my Auntie Momma found me so she crawled in to the closet and just held me and listened to all my hurts.

I want to be back in that closet right now because I miss my Gramma Grape and I just want to lay under her hanging clothes until I feel better. and if her wallet was right here I would write her a note, cry my eyes out and wait for someone to hold me. I miss my mother in law, My bestest Mother in Law ever friend and I want to hug her too. I am so sad I am unable to be there for her during this time too.

I am not trying to be selfish, but I do know that as humans we tend to be selfish, I just hurt and I wish I had some more time to make sure she knew just how much I loved her!

I Love you Gramma Grape and Always Will

Your Loving Grandaughter,

Lori Garbarino

PS: D' Angelo is safe with me